I am so lost~

Since duno when~i feel so lost~very lost~so blur.I duno what to do everyday~is like "shi qu ren sheng fang xiang" lost in de middle of the jugle~everyday come back from college~although i know i have a lot of assignment to do~but still duno what to do...everyday juz sit down there and dream~

Since de new medicine i take~my stomach pain everyday~sometimes even feel like having breathing prob~ feel tired everyday~ very tired~ not that i dun wan to do things but i juz feel so tired~

There hv been sometimes i feel like wan to juz stop studying~ i am so tired of studies~ lots of assignment and project hv to be done~ final is near by i am like so lost that doesn't recall anything that our lecturer has tought...

OMG i am blur now >.< duno what to write nth to say~lost of self control~i am dead really dead~


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Juz ignore me ~_~

side effects >.<

Gliclazide 1 of the medicine i am taking~i found the side effect of it "decreased blood sugar levels - symptoms include
-HEADACHE,HUNGER,AFEELING OF LACK OF INTEREST OR ENERGY,
-DROWSINESS,
-SLEEPING PROB,
-FEELING AGITATED/AGRESSIVE,
-LACK OF CONCERNTRATION,
-REDUCED AWARENESS OR REACTIONS,
-DEPRESSION,
-CONFUSSION,
-SPEECH POWERLESSNESS,
-APHASIA<--duno wad lai de
-TREMOS<--duno wad lai de
-SENSORY PROB,
-LACK OF SELF CONTROL
-EYE/EYESIGHT PROB .....

Another medicine i am having is metformin and de side effects are:
-Diarrhea<--watery, loose stools occur more den 3 times a day
-nausea and vomiting
-Gas
-Weakness
-Indigestion
-Abnominal/stomach discomfort<--what i am going through
-Headache
-Chest pain
-Signs of an allergic reaction
-including an unexplained skin rash
-itching
-trouble breathing
-or unexplained swelling
-hair loss<--OMG >< no wonder my hair is getting lesser n lesser T.T

OMG~so scary >.< so many side effects~but de doctor only told me de side effect is that if u did not eat after consuming the medicine(gliclazide) ur hand will shake.<--fullstop juz that~isn't the doctor should be sincere to patient and let the patient know what is de side effect ???

The effect of diabetis T.T see liao oso scare me make me more panic only ~ duno what should i do T.T~

Provided by the Diabetes Health Channel on eMedTV.com

New Medication ~_~

hmm..today went hospital again ~_~ sugar lvl 9.9 @@ why so high le~ coz i long time no inject insulin nor eat medicine le~ when the doctor ask me why~ i cnt answer >.< why??? me myself also not sure how to answer her~maybe i juz hate to do that and doesn't care >.<

they keep tell me what is de consequences of diabetis~i also know le but...juz feel like no matter how or what i do it does not seems to help~i cnt get rid of it~it will juz follow me forever n ever~they tell me~ if i follow doctor instruction i might get those problem later u know wad is LATER!! means for sure i will hv heart problem, kidney problem n others~ so what is de point to be so ma fan and so sun fu to inject and eat medicine???they tell me if continue inject~one day the back of my neck will be black~if like that why i wan to inject wor >.< call me inject den tell me this~u say will i inject?????b4 when ask what is de side effect of injecting insulin~de doctor say no effect~now??someone told me this~2pid doctor lie me >.<

Now doctor give me a new medicine call Glilazide which have to eat every morning 1/2 hr b4 breakfast and like b4 hv to eat metformin after breakfast as well as dinner~ and from injecting 4 times~now i juz have to inject 1 times which is b4 sleep~but with the condition of i have to do excersice >.<

Now i follow de medication is just want my parents not to worry me~to tell the truth =.= i been thinking of suicide b4 >.< but there is someone and something that i cnt let go~haiz~i oso duno how le >.< aaaaaaa~why is me wor??

My mom always ask me didn't i worry about my future?de consequences of it? i juz keep quiet...de answer is..i am worry! i am scare too~but the facts is i donno what to do..sometimes i juz hope to juz leave~that is why i don bother taking my medicine~

Well for now i duno wad to do and dunno what am i doing~what i can do is juz listen to them lo~let parents fong sum lo~and see how long i can live =.=||

URINE TEST >.<

yesterday went to hospital hv my blood test n URINE TEST =.=|| which i hate the most.Rmb the forst time i went to hv body check up,hv blood test and is hard for my blood to come out =.= struggle for so long den hv de URINE TEST where i cnt pee =.=|| my mum buy me a bottle of water and ask me drink swt~ i drink finish 1 bottle of water le still cnt pee >_< den she scold me T.T everyone oso look at me, she tot i purposely dun wan pee de meh >< but really cnt ma sobz~make me feel so sad ler~ den yesterday lucky is my dad bring me go,i cnt pee again =.=||i drink le 2 bottle of water =.=|| still cnt>.< feel like wan go bang wall liao....

lucky my dad no scold me like my mom =.= he gt "an wei" me lolx~he so funny oso he say go out walk walk maybe back can pee le xD haha den we go out walk but come back still same >_< den we sit there juz waiting =.= like so weird till he sleep there @@ but at last after duno how many hours =.= done liao~REALLY REALLY HATE URINE TEST aaaaa! my dad say next time know got urine test pee at home n bring to hospital =.=|| swt lolx

this sem so cham~keep skip class >...< cham cham

arrr~ duno wan write wad le la >.<

fan!!

ayer me so fan arrr~exam assignment relationship OMG so fan ler >.< haiz~why all tel me wan die de >.< if u all wan die me oso go die ler xD dun die dun die a mi tuo fo~~lolx 2molo last exam le hope fast fast pass de exam den can relax a bit~but many assignment are waiting me T.T stress ler~~now wan fan health again >.< iisshh so hate life~why god wan cre8 me in this world ler~i wonder if i did not appear in tis world duno where am i ler xD haha such a 2pid question~but really think bout it b4 last time~arrrrgggghhh dun blog liao fast go study >.< gogogo~~

Back to blooger xD lolx

So long din blog jor haha xD since nov! wow that time was busy packing things and den after moving the line is like so damn lao ya so that is why i am "lost" for certain time haha xD

Hmm, now i am in my new house where i can do watever i want in my own room wakaka~ secret secret =X lol i like to be alone in my room and do my own stuff where it is like very peaceful xD haha...maybe i am juz too antisocial o.O However sometimes depends on my mood lo, sometimes also wan to go out and sot v fren de ma hehe~

I hv met a fren juz no long ago, he is a quite nice person.Always there to help me when i am having prob xD hehe so appriciate what he had done ^.^ thx a lot zen~duno since when, i become very easy to cry >.< juz for no reason juz a very small prob i started crying T.T maybe because of the stress i am facing~however cry can somehow disstress =P

@@ there are too much i hv to say where i now don know what i wan to say lol~it is blank in my brain now ~.~ nvm if i hv time and hv the mood to blog again i will come back xD haha hmm i think i juz stop here lo~

***Love all my frens^-^***